What If I'm a Bad Person? (Part Two)
How OCD Creates a Feared Self & How to Reclaim Your True Self
In Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the fear of being a “bad person” isn’t just a passing worry—it can become a central narrative that defines how someone sees themselves. This core fear often drives obsessional doubt and exhausting compulsions, causing people to question their morality, character, and even identity.
Inference-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (I-CBT) provides a powerful lens into why these fears stick and how to challenge them—by targeting OCD’s distorted reasoning and the imagined identity behind the obsession.
The Feared Possible Self: OCD’s False Identity
At the heart of I-CBT is the concept of the Feared Possible Self—an imagined version of who you’re terrified you could be. It often pre-exists the intrusive thought and is tied to your most important values and vulnerabilities.
“What if I’m secretly immoral?”
“What if I’m unsafe around people?”
“What if I’ve fooled everyone—including myself?”
This feared self doesn’t feel like a passing worry—it feels like a real possibility. OCD fuels this narrative by disconnecting you from evidence and pulling you into imagined danger.
How the Fear of Being a “Bad Person” Shows Up in OCD
This fear often cuts across many OCD subtypes, including:
Harm OCD: “What if I snapped and hurt someone without realizing it?”
Sexual intrusive thoughts: “What if I’m secretly dangerous and just don’t know it?”
Scrupulosity: “What if I’m morally corrupt and don’t deserve forgiveness?”
Relationship OCD (ROCD): “What if I’m lying to myself and don’t truly love my partner?”
Contamination OCD: “What if I accidentally harm someone through carelessness?”
Perfectionism: “What if making a mistake means I’m irresponsible or flawed?”
While the theme may shift, the underlying doubt is often the same:
“What if I’m a bad person, and I just don’t know it yet?”
Why It Feels So Real: OCD’s Reasoning Errors
OCD doesn’t just create intrusive thoughts — it creates an obsessional storyline. In I-CBT, this pattern is called inferential confusion — trusting hypothetical fears over what your senses and experiences tell you.
Instead of saying, “That was just a weird thought,” a person with OCD might think:
“If I’m worried about this, it must mean something.”
“If I can imagine it, maybe it’s true.”
“If I feel anxious, there must be something to solve.”
These reasoning errors make the feared self seem plausible—even when there’s no real-world evidence.
The Movie Analogy: Why OCD Feels So Real
When I was six years old, I saw the movie Homeward Bound, and I was devastated when the cat, Sassy, fell down the waterfall. I cried as if I had just witnessed a real cat die in front of me. (Spoiler: Sassy survived the fall—thank goodness—or that scene might’ve left deeper emotional scars.)
The story wasn’t true, but the emotions I felt were very real.
Have you ever cried during a movie, even though you knew it wasn’t real? Your body reacts. Your heart races. You might even carry the feelings with you after the credits roll.
That’s what it’s like to live in the OCD story.
The feelings are real—but the story is fiction.
OCD scripts a feared version of who you are—the Feared Possible Self—and plays it on repeat. And just like in a movie, your nervous system responds. You feel panic, guilt, or dread, even though the “plot” isn’t based on facts.
This is what makes OCD so convincing. But emotions don’t prove truth—they only prove what story you’re inside.
I-CBT helps you step out of the movie and back into real life—where your actual self lives.
The Cost of Trying to Prove You’re Good
To escape the doubt, individuals with OCD often engage in compulsions like:
Mentally reviewing: “Did I feel bad enough?”
Reassurance-seeking: “Do you think I’m a good person?”
Avoidance: Staying away from knives, kids, romantic partners, etc.
Comparison: “Do other people think this way? What if I’m different?”
But the more you try to disprove the feared self, the stronger it becomes. Compulsions offer momentary relief—but they reinforce the belief that the fear might be true.
How I-CBT Helps You Reconnect with Your Real Self
I-CBT helps individuals move out of imagined fears and back into reality by teaching them to challenge OCD’s logic and reclaim their true identity.
Here’s how:
Step 1: Spot OCD’s Story
Ask yourself:
What is OCD saying about me?
What would it mean if the fear were true?
“OCD says I had that thought, so I must be a bad person.”
Step 2: Trust Real-Life Evidence
Refocus on your direct experience:
What do your senses tell you?
What does your actual behavior show?
“I’ve never hurt anyone. I consistently act with care and responsibility. This fear exists only in my imagination.”
Step 3: Reauthor the Self-Story
Instead of defining yourself by thoughts, define yourself by values and actions.
“I help others, check in on friends, take care of my dog, and treat people with compassion. That’s who I am.”
Step 4: Reframe Doubt as Irrelevant
OCD makes doubt feel meaningful, but doubt is just a feeling—not a fact.
“Everyone experiences doubt. Feeling unsure doesn’t mean I’m dangerous or immoral.”
Finding your real self isn’t about seeking reassurance or proving you’re a good person. It’s about learning to trust yourself—the same way you already do in other parts of your life. You don’t analyze every meal to prove you’re capable of feeding yourself. Rebuilding self-trust happens the same way: by living it.
A Real-Life Reframe
This morning I made coffee for my partner, walked my dog, helped a coworker, and texted a friend who’s going through a hard time. These actions speak louder than OCD’s noise. They reflect who I actually am—not the ‘what if’ version OCD wants me to believe.
The Real Self vs. The OCD Story
| OCD’s Feared Self | Your Real Self |
|---|---|
| “You might be dangerous or fake.” | “Your consistent actions show kindness and care.” |
| “This thought means something about you.” | “Thoughts aren’t intentions.” |
| “You can’t trust yourself.” | “Your lived behavior proves otherwise.” |
You Are Not Your OCD Story
The OCD story—and the fear of being a bad person—can feel incredibly real because the volume is turned up so high. But when we learn how to turn down that volume, rebuild self-trust, and pull back the metaphorical screen from our eyes, we begin to reconnect with who we actually are.
The fear of being a “bad person” is one of OCD’s most painful themes—but it doesn’t define you. OCD targets what you care about most, not because it knows the truth, but because it knows what will hurt.
The Feared Possible Self is just that—a possibility, not a reality.
With the right support, you can reclaim your sense of self. I-CBT, ERP, and reality-based strategies like sensory grounding and rewriting the OCD narrative help you reconnect with who you truly are—someone whose identity is grounded in values, not in doubt.
Ready to Reclaim Your Real Self?
If you or someone you love is struggling with OCD—especially around themes of self-doubt, morality, or identity—our team at the OCD & Anxiety Center of Minnesota (OCDMN) is here to help.
We specialize in evidence-based treatment, including I-CBT, ERP, and ACT, and work with children, adolescents, and adults.
Learn more about our services or contact us to get started.
New here? This post builds on ideas from Part One: Understanding the Core Fear of Being a Bad Person in OCD. Start there for the full picture.
